|ok i really need to vent!
||[Nov. 17th, 2009|12:00 pm]
So I had my first all out fight with a direct superior last night. Although normally pretty calm and non-confrontational in business settings, this informal meeting terminated with "Wow, you really have a serious mental problem. I can't even talk to you anymore - I have to leave." And I left without looking back. Quite frankly i'm not sure if I will still have this job when I return from vacation, but only time will tell...|
But now I need to vent and reflect a bit on just why this woman made me SOOOOO angry. Let me start with the background - so when I was interviewing for this position the woman asked me what my availability was. I told her I was already teaching at another school and I would not be able to work during those times. She said well thats ok because we would mostly need you at night. "Would you be available to work nights?" she asked me. "Would it be possible for you to work on saturdays?" "Yes, it would be" I said, adding "that's good because right now I don't have any classes at night with my other school." I then filled out a sheet of paper where I crossed off the times of my other classes.
Over the next 2 weeks this woman gave me 2 classes - one during the night and another during the day. My other institute then offered me a night class on a different day. I thought, sure, now i am evenly split - two classes for each institute (2 for NA, 2 for B) and with that i am working pretty much full time and don't really have time for any other classes. Then another person from NA, not the lady I previously mentioned but a co-worker, asked me if i could take saturday classes. I declined because for me my schedule was already full and I wanted to see how that worked for a while before accepting too much. I later returned to the lady who hired me to ask about my contract because I HADN'T ever seen it, let alone signed it and quite frankly I was worried that I wasn't going to get paid. At this point she seemed upset that I refused a saturday class even though I told her I would be available to work saturdays. I told her, well I can't just accept every class you offer me - I can only work so many hours in the week. She says but your contract says that you are to be available on saturdays - you told me you are available on saturdays! I say well I have no idea what my contract says because I haven't seen it yet but I never commited to being available every single saturday without exception. At this point we argued but I tried to not make a fight of it. Finally I said, look - I didn't understand that this is what you were expecting of me since I haven't seen the contract, but from now on I understand what you expect of me and I will start accepting anything you offer me at these times, but I have already made some other committments during these times and I need to follow through with them until they are finished. Once they are finished - I will only make further committments at these times to you.
She was unhappy with this but agreed. Told me to let her know when my class with B would end so that I could be available to NA.
With this, I THOUGHT, we had reached a mutual understanding of what miscommunication had taken place and how we were going to proceed. But clearly I was wrong. I returned to her yesterday to check on the status of my vacation request and she acted, as usual, as if she had no clue. Finally when she realized it was a pressing matter she started to investigate and found it hadn't been processed yet - even thanked me for checking in with her because otherwise they wouldn't have had replacement teachers for my classes in time. As I was about to leave she asked me when I would be available to work when I returned. I told her the same times as I am now. She then says "When are you ending your other job so that you can be available more for us?" To which i responded "I'm not ending my other job - I never said I was ending my other job." Then I thought she must be referring to the class that I said would end at some point and then i'd be available to her. So I ask her if this is what she was referring to. "Well yes, when will that class end?" "Unfortunately I don't know, my other institute allows cancelations which then extend the class, so I am unable to give you a definitive end date." "Well that could go on for years she says." "Well no, it won't be that long" I say, still calmly even though I was rather unappreciative of the condescending tone she was taking with me. Then she says "Well I know I said it was ok, but only for a little while. This can't continue. You need to be available for us at this time." " I said well we discussed this already and I don't know what you want me to do about it." "Well its in your contract" she says again "and you've been declining classes during the night and on saturdays." At this point, still calmly, but firmly I say "I have not declined any classes since we discussed this misunderstanding." "Yes, you have" she says. *LIE!* Then she pulls me up on her availability calendar (in error-ridden excel i might add) and says "Look, you told me you aren't available saturdays but you are supposed to be - it's in your contract." "No, I say - after we discussed the miscommunication I told you I AM available saturdays. If that is not in your calendar that is your mistake, not mine." At this point the argument turned into a full blown fight as to what I said/did versus what she said. And no matter how i tried to explain what had happened in detail - the miscommunication, what classes i accepted/declined and when and why she denied everything and even made things up to support her argument. It was just too much...and i lost it....i JUST lost it.